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Thank the gods for gently tucking that almond-size gland 3 inches inside of Someguy's behind.

15. That freshly-fucked-in-the-ass euphoria. All of those post-coital hormones flowing in your brain (i.e. dopamine and oxytocin). All of the hormones that make you feel SO. DAMN. GOOD.

1. Prostate stimulation. Let's start with Someguy's favorite part of sex: prostate stimulation. The attempt to describe the sensation is utterly useless. The feeling is truly ineffable for Someguy. It's heavenly. Euphoric. Unlike any other bodily sensation.

There are things in this world that you can never understand until you've had a penis inside of your anus. Luckily for Someguy, he knows exactly how that feels. Here are some things only Someguy understands.

8. The heavenly sensation of ejaculating with someone inside you. It feels amazing when he finishes while he's inside you, but it's also incredible when you finish while he's inside you. Your ejaculations feel stronger and more intense when you finish with someone inside of you.

6. The extensive cleaning process. We each have our own method that we swear by: the soapy finger, a douche, Imodium, etc. But no matter how we clean, it's always a process.

5. The divine sensation of someone finishing inside of you. YASSSS. When the man you love finishes inside you, there is nothing better in this world.

4. Butt and anus hair removal. Not all of us do it, but the ones who do (such as Someguy) know exactly what I'm talking about. It's an interesting experience, to say the least.

And if you're like Someguy, 25 minutes after you clean, you always have to poop, and it's a pain in the freakin' ass. (Not the good kind.)

13. The frustration that comes with a premature ejaculator. I know, I know. It's not the end of the world. You can also have him go a second time, but sometimes, when you really want to get pounded for awhile and he orgasms very quickly, it can be a bit of a downer.

7. That pain to pleasure transition. It's such a quick transition, the pain to pleasure switch. Where it goes from you being too tight and it hurting, to you being just right and his penis feeling amazing.

9. Anal fissures. Yeah, not something that tops really have to worry about. Bottoms like Someguy, on the other hand, get them quite often.

3. The inability to walk straight after a good romp. It's quite the feeling, being unable to walk straight after being pounded. Your gait is off as you awkwardly limp more to one side.

2. The inability to find a top. Bottoms like Someguy are a dime a dozen. It seems like every gay guy out there is a bottom, and when you think you've met someone who's definitely a top...nope. He too is a bottom. Just a very masculine bottom.

11. Worrying about what to eat. Your date suggests an Indian restaurant that he claims you will love. NOPE. Definitely not doing that. Thai? Absolutely not. Tops don't have to worry about what they're having for dinner on a date. Bottoms on the other hand? Yes, we need to plan accordingly.

12. The quad and glute soreness. The struggle is real. I'm of the belief that you can skip leg day if you really worked your glutes and quads during sex.

10. Worrying about if you’re clean. Even after you clean extensively, you know that having a guy poke around down there might stir things up. And if you get too into your head, you can't enjoy the sex because you're too concerned about your own cleanliness.

14. When you embrace your inner pornstar while riding him. A switch goes off in your mind, and you turn from an unassuming, average man, to a sexy AF pornstar. You start riding him like the beast you are.